Kathryn Reinheimer, Business owner

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Resident of Yarraville, owner of Eternal Flame Ceremonies Kathryn Reinheimer

I was born in England, and my family moved to the USA when I was still a baby. My early childhood was spent in Chicago. When I was ten years old, the family made the decision to move to Australia. I guess they missed travelling! We came to Melbourne, where we settled in Glen Waverley. In those days, Glen Waverley was actually mostly massive blocks of land and people were building houses. I remember the milk truck delivering milk was pulled by horses in the morning. Around 1975 or so, the area started to build up.

I got married to Mark and bought a house in Boronia and started working as a PA then as a shorthand teacher. It was there that I met a woman who lived in Williamstown and invited Mark and me over for a BBQ. Incidentally, she remains a good friend, now living in Newport. I remember we were on a balcony facing the top of the bay, looking out to the city. I said to my Mark, “I love this place. What about we move over to the West and do a complete 360?” It seemed so close to the city but it had a good country town feeling to it. Nobody passes through Williamstown; people would enter Williamstown, did what they had to do and leave.

We moved to Williamstown 25 years ago. Back then, Williamstown was a small village, and everyone knew everyone. I remember carrying my baby and walking into shops and the streets were quiet and peaceful. We never regretted the move to the West. I wouldn’t live anywhere else. Even if I won TattsLotto I might buy another house in the West!

Williamstown became a double-edged sword. As people slowly discovered the Inner-West, the demand for better shops and more restaurants increased, which was good, but also meant it became busier. Busier meant more parking was needed. Houses were torn down and redeveloped, and the suburb completely changed.

We decided to move to Yarraville about three years ago. Yarraville has also become popular, but it has an advantage over Williamstown in that the streets in the Village cannot be expanded or widened. It cannot be built up the same way Williamstown was and I think will always retain its community feel.

My brother got married 18 years ago. It was the first wedding I have ever been to where a Celebrant was involved. (My brother has since told me that she was a lay-minister!) I remember saying to my husband “Wow, she was fantastic! What a great job!” She was bright, happy and we were out in a winery with a beautiful view of the vines. That image left an indelible mark on me and I started thinking of becoming a Weddings Celebrant.

However, with two young children and a large mortgage, I had to pop the idea to the back of my head as we couldn’t afford for me to stop a full-time job. I am a strong believer that the Universe pushes you in the direction you are meant to go. Celebrancy kept being brought to my attention.

For instance, there’s a book by Australian singer Helen Reddy called “The Woman I Am”, which I bought and to my surprise, she mentioned she had become a Celebrant. I would watch television and the show would talk about Celebrancy. These little odd things kept happening to me, which meant the idea of being a Celebrant kept bubbling deep within me, rising to the surface every now and then.

When my kids started university and became more self-sufficient and Mark had also gone into his own business as a graphic designer, the financial pressure slightly lifted. I made the decision that now was the time to look into becoming a Celebrant.

I was working in Flinders Street then, so I walked over to Victoria University (City Campus) to enquire about the Certificate IV in Celebrancy. Coincidentally, (or not!) they were having an information session in two weeks’ time. I bit the bullet and went along!

People think Celebrancy is just ‘sitting down, talking to the couple and show up on the day’. It’s much more than that! There is a lot of legal stuff involved. It’s especially relevant and important these days, as Australia has a lot more immigrants. I was taught to be careful and look out for child brides or forced marriages, as in some cultures, this is considered acceptable. I have had to learn the tools to identify these cultural practices which of course are illegal in Australia.

For instance, once, I was very concerned about a couple where the woman was not saying anything and the man was doing all the talking. That’s the sort of thing I look for. I kept talking to her, but the man was answering. After a while, the man went to the toilet, and I suggested to the woman to go for a walk with me.

When we were alone, I asked if she was happy to be married to this person. Her face actually lit up, and she said she was so excited and happy! I realised she was just really shy to show her emotions in front of him. I was relieved. I had to satisfy myself that she was marrying on her own free will. Couples have to marry for the right reasons.

There are things I had to learn and identify over time. Being a Celebrant is not just about weddings. There are funerals and dealing with the minefield that is the families. When someone has died, sometimes there is a family dynamic that isn’t really good. For example, the brother may not be speaking to the sister, and when I walk into the middle of that, I have to be sensitive and not take what they say to me personally. One wants to do it one way, while the other wants the other. In emotional times, you get the best and worst of people.

Weddings are beautiful but funerals are beautiful too. The happiness of weddings is something I never get sick of. The first view of the Bride and the way the Groom’s face lights up when he sees her. I love what I do.

A lot of people watch too much made-up television, and think it’s easy to marry straight away! Sometimes I get messages from people advising they wish to get married next Friday! I tell them I can’t do that, as I require ID, legal papers and one month’s notice. Many people don’t understand that.

I have two children. My son has just finished university, and is working in a café in the Inner West. My daughter just headed to Europe last month. At the moment she’s volunteering in the humanitarian field in Greece, helping with children in refugee camps. She’s studying for a Psychology degree and has a particular interest in children.

I’m toying with the idea of doing some local volunteer work which I can do in my own time. I have done a lot of volunteer work over the years. For example, I have a great empathy for elderly people, and I enjoy making them smile. Years ago, I volunteered in an aged care home in Williamstown, and I was appalled at how one of the nurses was talking to the people there. It was disrespectful and mean and it stuck with me.

I’ve just started doing French courses in the local Yarraville Community Centre. I loved French growing up and wanted to pick it up again. I wish I had more time to pick up things like art classes and do some painting. I still go to Glen Waverley at least once a week to see my elderly parents. Being a Celebrant doesn’t take up my full time hours, but I do not want to commit to a permanent job, as I need to be flexible for my parents, in case they need me.

I’m on a couple of Celebrancy sites, including ‘Easy Weddings’ and have recently received from them my fourth Certificate of Excellence! To date, I have done over 80 Weddings, four Commitments, two Baby Namings, ten Funerals, one Memorial and one Divorce Ceremony. With Spring just around the corner, queries are picking up for the next Weddings season! Until then, I still have time to think about what else I’d like to do!

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